My Road Not Taken

Rewind four years ago. I’m one year out of college. I had taken the LSATs. I was accepted into law school and getting ready to start my first semester as an evening student with a full-time job in communications during the day.

Rewind two years ago. I reach the halfway mark. I’ve been working 8:30 a.m. – 5:30 p.m. Monday through Friday and going to school from 6 – 9 p.m. I’m not happy. I’m weighing a choice in my mind but haven’t spoken the words out loud to anyone.

And then I did it. I quit law school.

Back to present day. Today, Tuesday, July 30, 2013, is the day that I would have been joining my fellow law school grads to take the bar exam. It’s given me the chance to reflect on how much has changed in my life since then. 

At 23, you don’t know as much as you think you do. I’m actually finding that as I get older, I know even less. I went into the whole thing blind. I was smart. I liked to read. I loved school. I thought that was enough.

Despite the lost time and money, I wouldn’t change a thing about the past four years. (Okay… maybe the loans. Yes, definitely the loans.) I learned a lot, not only about myself, but about how the world works. I notice myself reading every word of any legal document set in front of me. I look at news stories about legal proceedings differently.

In school, while I was learning to look at the world with a more discerning eye, I also looked at where my life was heading. I realized that this degree wouldn’t give me what I wanted.

I didn’t want to work at a law firm. I didn’t want to put in long, horrific hours. I wanted to work an eight-hour day doing something I loved, with time and energy leftover for my family. And thankfully, after two years, that’s where I’m at.

I’m building a career for myself as a marketing and communications professional. I’m sharing my passion for health/fitness with the Columbus community as a barre3 instructor. I’m married to my best friend and we’ve started a strong foundation for a life together.

While law school wasn’t for me, I’m happy for those who have found their passion in it. I’m grateful for the time I spent there and for all that I learned. I’m especially thankful for the friendships and the amazing people I met.

Today is a huge day for those taking the bar exam. It’s also a huge day for me. I get to reflect on how proud of myself I am for realizing I wasn’t on the right path and for getting myself to where I am today. It’s been a long road but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m doing what I love and I get to share that with the people I care about the most.

If you don’t like something about your life, change it. It really is as simple as that.

Let Faith Be Bigger Than Fear

As I continue to watch television and listen to the radio, my heart gets heavier. Even on a “normal” week I have trouble watching the evening news. I have made a rule that the only time the news is on is in the morning. I have a difficult time not personalizing the sad and tragic stories. “What if that happened to me?” “What if that was my family?” “What would I do?” It’s what keeps me awake at night.

But this week isn’t about me and my anxieties. It’s a selfish thing to sit here and say I’m devastated by what happened and continue down the trail of “what if someone I knew was there…” As a human being I am sad. I can try to empathize with others who actually experienced the loss, the personal pain or the injury to someone close to them. But try as I might, I never could. As much as this “personally” affects me as a U.S. citizen, it doesn’t even touch what others are going through. The pain of losing a child, a sister, a parent. So this time, it’s not about me and the “what ifs.”

I’ll continue to pray for those who were personally affected by this week’s events and put my own fears aside, honoring those mourning tangible, real losses.

April Resolution: MOVE!

This month’s resolution is purely physical: move my body more. I spend six days a week at barre3 instructing and taking classes. There’s no question that I’m getting great workouts in. However, like many others, I’m not moving at all for a good portion of most days at a desk for eight hours. 

I need to make a commitment to move in other ways. Go for a 10 minutes jog now that the weather is warm. Hit up that neighborhood yoga class. Re-implement the standing desk. Take a walk during lunch. Little “movements” for big results (one of my favorite barre3 mantras!)

Every day I will make an effort to move a little more than usual. Mostly because:

7 Day Body Blast – Day 4

Today took quite the unexpected turn. I woke up to get ready for work and just as I finished blow drying my hair my minor “sinus headache” resulted in a wave of nausea. A full-blown migraine soon followed.

It’s now well into the evening and I’m still couch-ridden. Thanks to my food prep, I was able to stick very close to the meal plan despite the slight setback. Plus it was nice to not cook and try to find food when I was feeling so sick.

I had a Green Colada smoothie for a not-so-glamorous breakfast in bed and Sweet Potato and Cauliflower purée for lunch. Rob brought home Indian food for dinner since I still couldn’t move, and I only snuck a tiny piece of naan with my aloo gobi! THAT is an accomplishment.

I am lucky to work with a wonderful team both at my full-time job and at barre3. I was able to take the time to rest and heal myself with no worries, something I know not to take for granted.

Lesson for today? Know your limits- when to push yourself and when to take a step back. I can’t wait for a new tomorrow!

Engagement vs. Existence – March Resolution

I had such a fun time with my February resolution. I’ll be sharing some new restaurants and coffee shops I discovered in addition to healthy recipes in my next post! Right  now I want to focus on getting in the right mindset for March.

This month’s resolution is simple: to engage more with the world around me.  A lot of people, including myself, go through their day-to-day activities without much thought. Getting dressed, going to work, studying, cooking dinner, watching TV, social commitments. It’s all so routine.

I want to learn to be grateful for each moment and appreciate those around me. My action steps for this month include:

1. Making the effort to call more friends and family members just to say hello.
   We’ll shoot for two each weekend. I hate talking on the phone, but it’s an important part of keeping any healthy long distance relationship going. I still don’t understand WHY this is so hard for me.
2. Skyping with at least three friends this month.
   Who wants to volunteer?
3. Looking people in the eye on the street.
   Smiling at them. Making small talk while waiting in line. At worst, I’ll become the creepy, talkative girl in the elevator. At best, I’ll brighten someone’s day a little.
4. Mystery date night-ing with Rob.
   I have to give my friend Sara and her boyfriend, Michael, credit for this one. It’s such a good idea I’m implementing it. Rob and I will take a turn making secret date plans for each other. 
5. Finding some peace in the outdoors.
   When it’s above 50 degrees Fahrenheit, of course. I spend so much time in front of a computer during the day that I need to get out more. Even if it’s just for a five minute walk around the block. I’ll really see what nature has to offer me!

Although simple, this short list will give me some places to focus. I often neglect friends that mean so much to me for absolutely no reason. I’m excited to get started and do more than just simply exist in the world around me.

“The Way I See It”

via Starbucks

New Thinking Thursday

Thursday is when I start looking forward to the weekend. I get to choose my own activities for a full 48 hours. Spend time with friends? Workout? Study? Go to dinner? Read a book? No one dictates that but me!

It’s become increasingly more important to make my free time count as the year progresses. I came across a few quotes today from spark new thinking that energized me:

“Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.” – Jerry Rice

“Opportunity follows struggle. It follows effort. It follows hard work. It doesn’t come before.” -Shelby Steele

“Nobody ever wrote a plan to be broke, fat, lazy and stupid. Those things are what happen when you don’t have a plan.” -Larry Winget […and while I wouldn’t use all of Larry’s exact words… I get the point he was trying to make!]

I’m motivated for a productive, fun and fulfilling weekend. Bring on Friday!

January Resolution: Care

I’m tackling a new resolution each month this year. For January, my action word is ‘care.’ This can take on many different meanings: to care for family and friends; to care for strangers; to care for myself.

I’m going to encompass all three into January, which will focus on random acts of kindness. While I already consider myself a caring person, I’d like to become more actively involved and step out of my comfort zone. My goal is to carry this type of behavior throughout the rest of the year and beyond.

By the time January 31 rolls around, I will have accomplished the following:

1. Donate used books to a local library
2. Hold the door open for others whenever the occasion arises
3. Pay the Starbucks’ tab for the person behind me in the drive-thru
4. Send birthday cards to family/friends
5. Donate blood
6. Comment on three blogs/week
7. Be polite on the road
8. Leave five recommendations on LinkedIn
9. Bring coworkers a special treat
10. Send flowers to a local nursing home

While I feel like most of these are common sense, they’re often put on the back burner. Not anymore! I can’t wait to report back at the end of the month… where I’ll hopefully be able to check off a few other items as well!

The Short Guide to Finding Your Passion

“The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.” – Arnold Toynbee

I came across the above quote while reading a blog post by Leo Babauta, journalist and author. I’ve taken his list and added some of my own commentary.

I’m on a mission to be a better, happier and healthier person. I’m dedicated to finding and doing what I’m passionate about every single day. My goal for the next year is to literally leap out of bed every morning because I’m so excited about the life I’m living.

Of course, I’ll need to break that down into smaller chunks… but I think I’m off to a strong start!

The Short Guide to Finding Your Passion

1. What are you good at?
Sometimes the most obvious isn’t always the answer. As years pass, it can be easy to forget what you were good at 5, or even 10 years ago. Was it writing? Drawing? Organizing? Dancing? Teaching? Spend at least 30 minutes thinking back on old jobs and hobbies. Create a list of possibilities.

2. What excites you?
This can be anything. A small part of your job, something you do on the side. Do you volunteer and enjoy spending your time there? Do you like cooking for your family or thinking of fun activities for your friends? Again, this could be something you haven’t done in awhile so THINK! Don’t shortchange yourself. Keep adding to your list…

3. What do you read about?
If you spend time reading it, chances are it interests you. What do you read online? What’s the first website you visit? What blogs do you follow? What types of books do you read? Again- add them to your list!

4. What have you secretly dreamed of?
I know there are several ridiculous dream jobs I’ve always imagined myself doing. Think of a job you’ve always wanted but thought impossible. A novelist, an artist, a designer, an architect? For me, it was usually fear and self-doubt holding me back, causing me to dismiss the idea. Even if it’s unrealistic, continue with the list.

5. Learn, ask, take notes
Look over your list and choose what excites you the most. Read about it and contact those who have been successful in the field. Most likely someone has found a way to capitalize on it. Connect with them through their blog or send them a quick email. Make a list of notes of things you need to learn and improve on to take the next step.

6. Experiment, try
Here’s where the learning really takes place. Start to do the thing you’ve chosen. JUST DO IT. Make it public however you can. This motivates you to improve and gets you feedback. As you continue on this path, your reputation will improve. Blog about the experience. Pay attention to how you feel doing it and ask yourself if it’s something you look forward to and want to share.

7. Narrow things down
Pick three things from your list and do steps 5 and 6 with them. Which one gets you the most excited and produces something people will pay for and get excited about with you? Which one can you see yourself doing for years? Don’t necessarily go with the most traditional career path. Make it into a career if possible. If that doesn’t work out, try the next thing on your list. Failure teaches valuable lessons that will drive your success in the next attempt.

8. Banish your fears
This is definitely my biggest problem: getting rid of self-doubt and fear of failure. It helps to acknowledge it rather than ignore or deny it. Feel it and be okay with it. Even if the worst possible scenario happens, know that it won’t be the end of the world. Prepare yourself and then do it. And my favorite part: celebrate your successes, no matter how small!

9. Find the time
If you think you don’t have time, you’re wrong. Make the time, darn it! If it’s a priority, you’ll rearrange your life until you do. This might mean waking up earlier, canceling commitments, simplifying your work routine or doing a lot of work in advance. Whatever it takes, do it.

10. How to make a living doing it
This doesn’t happen overnight. It requires doing something, succeeding at it and being passionate about it. Having fun with it is the most important part. It’s at this point where you are so invested and so great at what you’re doing that others are willing to pay you for it.

It won’t necessarily be easy. It will require a lot of reflection and soul-searching. And after, that a lot of courage, learning and experimentation. Lastly, but most importantly, it will take a lot of commitment.

But it’s all worth it. Every second, every ounce of courage and every bit effort. In the end, you’ll have something that will transform your life, giving you that reason to jump out of bed. 

Life is Like Riding a Bicycle

Life is busy. Duh. Whether it’s calling/visiting friends and family, volunteering for a cause, getting your workout in, nurturing your relationship… it’s a lot to think about.

But life is all about balance and that’s the tricky part. When does it become too much? When are the meetings, the workouts, the volunteering commitments too much? And how do you keep it from snowballing into one big mess?

For me, I thrive when I have things to do and a set schedule. I love working to fit everything in. If I have nothing planned out in advance, I’m more likely to spend the night sitting on the couch, thinking I have all the time in the world. Then it’s 11 p.m. and nothing has been accomplished.

The scale differs and my healthy balance isn’t going to be the same as the next person’s. A few general tips helped me find mine and showed me the areas of my life that I should focus on. Hopefully they’ll do the same for you:

1. Track your schedule for one week. Compare how you’re spending your time against your top priorities (friendships, family, etc…)
2. Cut out dysfunctional or draining relationships. Life can hit you hard and you need to save up your resources for things and people that really matter.
3. Make a list of the things you want to accomplish in the next year, 5 years and 10 years. When you see them on paper it will help you map out how to reach them.
4. Have open conversations with loved ones when you’re struggling. This will not only relieve stress, but offer insight into ways to overcome your rough patch.
5. Learn to say no. If it’s not a productive use of your time, don’t do it.

I haven’t figured out the exact formula yet and I’m the first to admit sometimes I overdo it. But I discovered what it feels like when I’m about to hit a wall. I know when I need a Saturday night at home on the couch because it’s been a tough week and that sometimes letting loose is scheduling the “me time” I rarely get.

My point is this: Life is busy. It will never calm down and you will always have commitments. That’s a great thing! You have to keep moving through the hustle and bustle and come up with a way to deal with it that is uniquely you.